July 1 @ 5:53 am Fishing sunrise Smiley off east Oahu!
Let yourself be seen, with all of your imperfections. It’s certainly easier as you grow older, but hopefully you won’t wait that long! You’ll find it is not only wonderful for you but is also a gift for everyone in your life.
Just as when you are kinder, you find that so are the people with whom you interact. It is also true, that when you stop apologizing for little mistakes and allow others to see your vulnerabilities, they too can feel themselves letting down their guard and becoming more vulnerable. Such an honor for both people.
We’ve all been places where everything is in its place and the order is meticulously maintained. There’s a dis-ease in such environments. You become self conscious of your every action because of your concern for not upsetting the clearly and strictly ordered apple cart. There is an implied judgement if you don’t think to use a coaster or take off your shoes or know which towel to dry your hands on, because clearly they do and clearly there is a right and a wrong way and clearly you should know it.
It’s the same with our emotional state. In the presence of someone who is critical and judgemental, our own sensitivity meter is on alert. We may not buy into their judgements but often we will monitor our behavior using their yard stick.
Conversely, when you are in the presence of someone who is able to show their own weaknesses and not apologize for every little mis-step, they send the message that those who are with them have permission to be themselves, burps, brilliance and all. And those people who show us their vulnerable side, don’t we all just love them? Try being vulnerable; people will see that you’re loveable.
Smile. Be happy.
Ruth
Be an Open Door.
Door Handle Smiley
I need a bunch of people to submit a picture of themselves IMITATING Hub Cap Smiley. I’ll be using these in an important proposal. Could you take a minute to make a silly face and email it to me? Thanks in advance!!
ruth@SpontaneousSmiley.com
Keep chugging along like the Little Engine the Could. Believe it when you chant to yourself: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
And then if you discover: whoops I guess I couldn’t, consider it a simple falling down moment and just get up and start again.
All the achievements in my life are sandwiched between oodles of mistakes and mis-starts. I rarely dwell on or share with others about the flops. This is not out of shame, but out of looking toward the goal. If plans A, B, C, D, E, F, and G have all bombed, here’s to going at Plan H with all the gusto possible.
Use the info garnered from the flops and mistakes and mis-starts as data for the next goal. Consider yourself clever for standing up again instead of unwisely allowing falling down to remain as your point of view.
Smile. Be happy. Attack a goal.
Ruth
Train Smiley
Here are the links for the whole week of the Smiley Lady’s Blog Posts as featured Guest Blogger for drgreene.com.
MON: http://tinyurl.com/6zk9uht
TU: http://tinyurl.com/69b4wel
WED: http://tinyurl.com/6ktmcy7
THUR: http://tinyurl.com/6bty8ll
I’d love to have you take a look and if so inclined to click the LIKE, TWEET and GOOGLE+ buttons.
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. – Confucious
Great sentiment, huh? No wonder the dude gets quoted all the time.
So in life, no matter what it is you’re doing, throw yourself into the work with every fiber of your body and every neuron of your brain. Some tasks will take all you’ve got, with learning curves that arouse the stubborn in us all: I will not be defeated! Others will seem a piece of cake, but still you can find a superior way of performing and a more fulfilling experience if you go with all your heart.
I’m talking the gamut here. From cleaning the bath tub to writing your memoir, from the important project for work to cleaning the rain gutters (I know it’s Summer and all, but here in the S.F. Bay Area our summer day is gloomy. That’s how Summer day always are here: Summer rainy and summer just chilly. That’s an old Henny Youngman joke. Don’t know who he is? Ask an old person. They’re very handy to have around.)
Go with all your heart. Is there any reason not to live this way? Every experience is better when you’re striving to do well and paying attention to the details. I love details. Every little thing is important. Details add up to life. Life is just details. Don’t dismiss them.
I think I’ll go attack the mountain of laundry that needs folding, and guess what I’m going to have fun doing it. Me, the cats, tons of laundry and good music. What a pleasant way to spend a little time.
Smile. Be happy.
Ruth
Bath Tub Smiley
We recently went out to dinner with friends. One friend said, “No thank you.” when it came to dessert. She said the way she stayed thin, was to never eat sweets. I was really struck with this idea. Never? Never, ever?
I’m not advocating eating junk and not caring about your health. However, I do advocate giving yourself the gift of something yummy every now and then. And if you really do limit it to only occasionally, then when you do indulge it seems like such a luxury, like such a gift.
Growing up we never (and I really do mean never, as in to this day I bet my mom still never has) had potato chips at our house. When I was served potato chips at someone else’s house I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven. I ate each chip slowly, enjoying every salty, crunchy, greasy bite.
I’d see other kids in the school lunchroom and be amazed that they had potato chips in their lunch bag every day, and they didn’t even seem to notice or enjoy them. Too much of a good thing and it looses its value. If it were your birthday everyday, would it be much fun?
Here’s to being careful about what we eat as a way of being kind to our bodies. But here’s also to indulging every now and then, and in so doing being kind to our inner self. Occasionally, it’s OK to say, “Yes.” to the cookie.
Smile. Be happy. Order a dessert and then go for a walk!
Ruth
Here are the links for the whole week of the Smiley Lady’s Blog Posts as featured Guest Blogger for drgreene.com.
MON: http://tinyurl.com/6zk9uht
TU: http://tinyurl.com/69b4wel
WED: http://tinyurl.com/6ktmcy7
THUR: http://tinyurl.com/6bty8ll
FRI: http://tinyurl.com/65pt7h8
Hope you take a look.
What if you still got a report card? With comments about your accomplishments and areas where you needed a little work. What if instead of math and language, the categories were tailored to the goals you have for yourself? What if you wrote that report card about yourself?
List your accomplishments. Let the list include things that are job related and things that have nothing to do with your professional life. Give yourself credit for what you did well.
Also, look at the things that almost made it onto this list and honestly evaluate why they didn’t. Look at the things that weren’t accomplished, at all, and ask yourself if they are realistic goals for you.
Then there’s the section on every report card about how you got along with others. Here evaluate how you handled yourself with family, with friends, with co-workers and with strangers. When you look at yourself though the eyes of someone writing a report card, it helps you to see where you were kind and where you could have acted more kindly.
As a teacher I found it frustrating that academics took up 4/5 of the report card leaving me only a small section to praise the child’s behavior and comment about areas they needed to work on to be kinder. Good golly, Miss Molly, P.E. got more space than kindness. For this imaginary report card about yourself, give equal importance to achievements and to behavior.
How often should you create a report card about yourself? I’d suggest at least every couple of months. And, if you’re feeling blue, do one then. I bet you’ll surprise yourself by what a totally cool and accomplished person you are.
Smile. Be happy.
Ruth
Bleachers Smiley